Red Sauce

A Pig, A Potato and a Work Out

Bacon can be misunderstood. I don’t know how much bacon Jackie Warner of “Work Out” eats but probably not much.
But eating bacon and cakes from Black Hound bakery brought over by the lovely Judy McGuire and watching “Work Out” helped make my Tuesday night fly by. And when the summer is waning and the week is dragging and like Loverboy, you are just working for the weekend, it’s nice to have a Tuesday night fly by.
Yeah, that's a pig up there--that is bacon before it's dead and cut up for you. Just reminding all of y'all. We are eating living beings.
I made my regular potatoes Anna with a variation of some added bacon—potatoes, onions, garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper, parmesan cheese, the last of my truffle oil and I added some bacon from Oscar’s in Upstate New York. I made some New York Strip steaks bought at Whole Foods and cooked a bit too much. And I made some asparagus and garlic bread.
Sidenote---I experienced a dumbass sighting at the Whole Foods meat counter who was insistent and bitchy about wanted to buy local. He should have waited one day and bought his dumbass strip steaks from the farmers market. He thought Buffalo New York Strip meant it was from Buffalo, New York and then got bitchy when he realized there was no “local” beef at Whole Foods. He kept asking where Coleman Farms was. I kept saying Colorado and he would not listen to me. Did he think chicks didn't know? Did he think I, myself did not dabble in trying to buy local? He does not know me!! People need to do some research. I commend his passion, but get out of the way. You are wasting my time. Buffalo is an animal, dumbass!
So, we all sat down on my green couch—the big Greek, Judy and I and watched Jackie Warner turn flab into fab for one woman. And we watched Zen really come out of her shell. Um, this made up shell Zen was in, is fascinating only that it is made up. They made up some kind of self-esteem issues for this woman, a trainer at Jackie’s gym, who they said was distraught and out of shape, but was neither of those things in reality. But the big gay trainer totally set her straight on her hike up a mountain. Oh, Joy! She’s better now. And she is going to lose those two pounds she gained when she was mysteriously distraught.

My Biceps Have Potatoes In Them, Too

“I felt those potatoes in there.”
Aah, Jackie Warner has a way with words and a sly smile. The potatoes she was talking about by the way were the tiny oblong biceps that are housed in one of her client’s arms. Warner, no doubt, was just pumping up the client’s self esteem and being a little flirty.
Last night, on “Work Out,” it was abundantly clear that Jackie Warner is the anti-Antin (as in Jonathan from "Blowout" fame.} Swirling all around her and her striated naked abs is drama and drama queens, yet she floats through it all, wiping the crazy smooth with one sly smile and a smooth stride across her gym’s immaculate wood floor. With buff, long arms and a hair with just so much spike, Jackie’s calmness and subdued attitude is the such the opposite of Antin that I wonder if I can even keep my attention going sometimes. Her laid back, naïve Midwestern persona even makes the show a little sentimental. But things pick up when Jackie’s jealous Cuban girlfriend (uh, is she playing that or is it real?) gets in front of the camera. Last night, she ripped up a picture of a woman Jackie was off to train. Jackie just smiled a little and looked down at the Cuban’s clunky, high heeled boots. That darn fiery Cuban, she is no doubt thinking.
Finally, I caught Jody Watley working out. Poor Jodie. She seems like she is on something. Or should be on something. There is this weird goofy smile plastered on her face as she does some kind of reverse sideways lunge. That lunge looked perilously bad and not right for many reasons. I assumed Jody didn’t think the proper forward lunge was pretty.
It’s rare I find a television show this addicting. But I am hooked. Well, I also must confess my love for Wife Swap. And part of my love for "Work Out" may also stem from the fact that way back in the day, I was once an aerobics instructor. Another day for that tale.
Back to the potatoes comment, though. This makes me want to think up other names for muscles. The zucchini (triceps). The squash (quadriceps). The celery (abs). hmmm.
For the viewing, I decided on a simple chicken and spinach pasta meal. Some protein, some good for you carbs. Jackie would be proud.

Breaded Chicken

Organic free-range chicken breast (not only tastier than the other kind, but as humane as it can get here)
A dollop of whole grain mustard
Olive Oil
Breadcrumbs
Tb. Lemon juice
Grated parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper to taste

Mix together olive oil, mustard, lemon juice and place on a plate. On another plate pour our a handful of breadcrumbs and grate some parmesan over them.
Dip chicken in olive oil mixture on both sides and then coat in bread crumb mixture.

Bake at 425 for about 20 minutes.

More Baked Pasta and More TV, Please

The thing about being a bit obsessed with food and eating as well as being a bit obsessed with biking is that at some point there becomes a confusion about whether you are eating to bike or biking to eat.
All those training guides tell you to eat to bike. Blah blah blah. But one of the many bonuses of logging long hours on my bike is that I can go home, have some baked penne with a tart, garlicky tomato sauce dotted with chunks of fresh mozzarella and hard, sharp melted Vermont cheddar and know it’s all going toward the cause of the bike ride.
Being a fantasy athlete can also be a total mind fuck. So there is a fine line to tread.
Speaking of fantasy athletes, I watched “Work Out” last night as I changed two tubes on two bikes in my living room, or my front room of my rent stabilized abode. There I was in front of my window air conditioning unit with two bikes upside down, a plate of steaming, cheesy, tomato-ey baked penne on the table and some freakishly golden tanned, dyed blond locked ladies and men on the television who are all about "working hard, working really hard."